I’ve (23m) been seeing this wonderful and amazing girl (23F) for about 4months-ish; she’s incredible and we do get along great; hands down someone I care about and I know that we’re venting into the whole “where/what are we?” situation soon, but this is minor rn.
Romantic aspect apart — she has the highest libido I’ve ever seen. Seriously high. I’m average-a-bit-lower-than-average maybe?
Anyway, because I do like her I’ve just adjusted to it as I know she has certain needs, which I’m happy to fulfill. Plus, she also respects that my drive is much lower; so sometimes she just asks for oral and that’ll do.
The problem is that she is genuinely bad in bed. Like a lot. And I’m not her first partner, her body count is much higher than mine (which I don’t care about at all); but sometimes I feel like it’s always her first time.
She lies down and does… nothing? And stays in there until she’s done. She always offers me bjs and then keeps licking me instead of doing whatever else she could; she loves being on top and and taking it from the back but won’t move an inch at all.
I don’t want to sound mean, I really like her and I swear I’m very vanilla on this; but I rarely ever finish and I’m worried she might think that I don’t like her at this point — I do, but she needs to… do something too? I’m not saying that I’m great myself or anything, but I feel like the game is totally unbalanced.
I’d truly appreciate any input, how should I address this? How do I approach this issue nicely?
Netizens’ comments
- This is fixable. Try ordering her around in bed. Tell her exactly what you want her to do.
- If she is just a FWB and the B is bad, are you just friends? I’ve only kept fwbs bc I wanted to sleep with them. If you really want to be in a relationship with her not just a hookup, talk to her.
- Compliment her on what she does good. “Its so hot when you ….” Or if its something she hasnt dont yet “It would be so hot if you…”
- Any girl can become amazing in bed with the right guidance. Sounds like she’s very passive and maybe submissive, so perhaps talk with her and she if she would be into you taking control and telling her what to do. A lot of girls love this.