Walao, I tell you, some people really got no brain one.
Last week was my grandmother’s funeral, right? Whole family already damn sian, everyone wearing black or white, eyes all red like tomato because we stayed up for the wake. Then my cousin, Jeremy—that one also another blur sotong—he walks in with his new girlfriend.
I swear my jaw drop until hit the floor.
This girl, I think her name is Tiffany or something, she turn up wearing hot pants. And I don’t mean just short pants ah, I mean those kind of denim micro-shorts where the pocket lining coming out from the bottom one. Some more she wear thin spaghetti strap top. Hello? You going Zouk or you coming to mandai crematorium?
The Atmosphere Change Instantly
The moment she step into the parlor, the air go cold, man.
- My Third Auntie: She was busy folding joss paper, then she stop midway, look up, and her face go sour like she just drink expired lime juice.
- The Elders: All the uncles sitting there drinking Guinness Stout suddenly quiet down. They start whispering, “Eh, who is this? No respect one.”
- My Mother: She give me that look. You know the look? The “if you ever do this I will disown you” look.
The Audacity
The best part is, Tiffany act like nothing is wrong. She carrying her branded bag, walking around like she on a fashion runway. She go up to the casket, bow a bit, then start digging her phone out to take selfie. I nearly wanted to go there and knock her head.
My cousin Jeremy just stand there like a statue. I pull him aside, I say, “Eh bro, you siao is it? Your girl wear like that come grandmother funeral, you never tell her ah?”
He scratch head and say, “Aya, she say Singapore very hot mah. And she never meet grandmother before, so she thought casual can already.”
The “Saman” (Fine)
Wah, I tell you, the karma fast one. My Eldest Uncle—the one who very garang (fierce) and traditional—he cannot take it already. He walk straight up to them, never even say hello.
He just point to the door and say, “Girl, this one is funeral, not Beach Club. You go buy a long sarong now or you wait outside. Don’t let the incense smoke dirty your expensive skin.”
The girl’s face turn bright red, immediately keep her phone and run to the car. Jeremy also follow behind like a scared puppy.
Seriously man, nowadays some people really zero situational awareness. You can be pretty, you can be modern, but at least have some adab (manners) right?