I have been job searching since I lost my job a month ago (they filed for bankruptcy). Prior to me losing my job, I had been working for 5 years through the company. My husband didnt work. He would have a job for a month before quitting and staying home.
I didnt say anything because he was there to take care of my kids and I didnt have to pay for daycare. So in the long run it did save me almost $650.
He had many “reasons” for being unemployed. He was severely depressed. For a while he was in denial about it but I was finally able to convince him to get into therapy. He also had untreated ADHD so he was sound sensitive, light sensitive and angered easily from overstimulation.
He could not hold a job down to save his life and would quit before giving it a chance. So I paid the bills for absolutely everything for 5 years. Whenever I did bring up him getting a job he would say “we really cant afford daycare”- which he wasnt wrong. It was expensive.
Anyways, so I lose my job a month ago but as I said, I still have an income. I also test games which generate roughly $150 a week. Despite me having income and honestly, getting a much-needed mental health break at the same time, he is still constantly bringing up that I dont have a job.
He went to therapy for months and got a job 2 months prior to me losing mine. So he is the only one working right now. But the constant badgering about me getting a job after all I’ve done and considering I still have an income flow (while searching for a job) is starting to really get under my skin. I’ve asked him to worry about himself. I’ve told him I’m on it. I’ve reminded him several times that I still have an income (on my income alone we have rent and utilities covered).
So Saturday he brings it up again. I was talking about wanting to go camping with the kids and he makes some backhanded comment about not being able to afford it and said “I really think that you should just worry about getting a job right now. Like yes, camping would be nice but that’s just an added expense right now considering you dont work.” So I snapped at him and said “I just worked while you sat home and did nothing for 5 freaking years. I still generate enough income to cover most of the bills. Get the F off my case.” (I have a savings of over $120k and the HDB is almost fully paid for).
He says that I’m being dismissive of his concerns about money and says that he feels like I’m “sinking into a dark space” like he was for those 5 years and is “worried” that me being home all the time is going to make it so I never have ambition or drive to be better and better our future and also stated that I’ve made him feel bad for simply not wanting to be the only one who works.
Im wrong?