I am so tired. Been crying for the past 2+ hours.
For context, this person in the past has made rude and racist comments about my race before, and I reported him to HR a year ago about that comment, he was evidently put on a sensitivity course. There’s a history of tension between us at work even before that.
Fast forward to last week, at a work dinner, this person got inebriated, said to me that we should ‘make babies tonight’, and that ‘let’s F I don’t care if you say no’. Unfortunately, there were no other people around so no witnesses. I reported this incident to HR, and HR suggested that I should speak with him and try to reconcile.
I stupidly took that advice and met with him and HR today. In the meeting, he said that there’s no way he would have said that because his mom was raped at a young age. And that I seemed fine the rest of the night and took pictures with him and it must mean that I’m not affected. He also questioned the validity of my accusation since I didn’t say anything to him the second day when we saw each other again. I got so angry at the situation I smashed a mug against the wall.
I am just very tired of the inaction by the company. This very shitty person who has a history of making racially or sexually inappropriate comments is going to get away with things again. I love what I do so I don’t want to take the easy way out by quitting. Outside of that, I’ve been told that I can’t tell anyone about what happened, likely to protect his reputation within the company.
I was assured by HR that reporting helps to prevent incidents like these from happening again, or to other people in the future.
But what about me?