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Friday, March 1, 2024


We’ve been trying for two years, however, i suffered from an eating disorder when i was young and being so thin made it difficult. My husband has always wanted a big family, I was never so keen and could have been childfree. I work with kids and like them, however so I wasn’t opposed to the idea. (We’ve been married 5 years now.)


My husband left on a trip with his friends, I was excited for him because i had gotten to travel with friends after graduation and so i encouraged him to go with his friends without me so he could have a similar experience (I hadn’t slept around during so i don’t think i got anything better being single while going haha…). I even put 5k into it for him as a surprise.

I found out i was pregnant pretty early after he left. I am now 10 weeks.

I didn’t tell him (or anyone else) because i thought it should be something done in person and I didn’t want him to feel guilty about being away for the first few weeks. Which has really just been me feeling horribly ill.

While he was away my doctor suggested i really work on putting on weight. (Healthy weight) and i have mindfully added about 300-400 cals to my daily intake.


Its been shocking and effective, and finally, since i was a teen, i am in a nearly healthy weight range.

I threw a party for him when he arrived and had some family and friends there, i had meant to tell him in private and offer to tell everyone that day, if he wanted to.

I literally had the ultrasound in my hand and was coming around to where he was standing outside and heard him and his sister talking. SIL has always been kind to me and I thought we were good friends but she laughed and said (paraphrased) “OP was always so thin, what happened. maybe she’s got a medical condition. Never thought she’d been the cow in the family.” and my husband just laughed, and said, ‘maybe not quite a cow, but she’ll need to loose it now that im back. I’ll take her for a couple runs with me.”

I was just frozen. And i just left and drove to my freinds house on autopilot.

At first i was so numb, but now I feel like i suddenly hate him. I feel gross knowing this fetus is half his. And I’m just in such shock.


He knows how close i came to dying so many times while i was a teen from my ED and hearing him call me that has sent me into a spiral. I haven’t told him I’m pregnant now and i don’t want to talk to him.

He’s been messaging me raging about how i could have left him after months of not seeing him but im just staying at my friend’s house and have been for the last 3 days. I’m trying to get an appointment with my therapist before i talk to him because I’m just not okay right now. I honestly dont know what to do. I feel like everything is just ruined and i wish he hadn’t come back because i really just dont know how to move on from this.

I feel like i need to respond, but i just dont know what to say to him; my therapist doesn’t have an open spot until Friday.

I need some advice, ANY advice because it feels like i’m drowning in my resentment for this man i seriously trusted my whole world to.

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