It’s been 3 months of the union. We dated for 1 year 3 months, and engaged and married within 3 months. 8.5 year age gap.
I am 21. My spouse has turned into a completely different person, screaming at me every day, even causing our puppy to be terrified and cry. We haven’t had sleep together in 2-3 weeks because of his treatment toward me and he said “Maybe if you gave me some at night I would stop yelling at you”.
He says hurtful things and then when I bring it up even minutes later he says “I never said anything like that” or saying I “must be stupid” for thinking he would say that (when he did) or “you completely misinterpreted” It is textbook gaslighting and he says “gaslighting is not real” I never experienced this with him before marriage and I’m wondering why this is happening now.
There is so much more to say but ill keep it short. The screaming is the kind you can hear from the next block. A few days ago I went out of our home to get away from the screaming and he followed me (I had our pup) and he screamed 1 meter away “can you hear me now? ” over and over while the dog cried. He said “this is how I have to speak for you to hear me” I have told him for 3 months that I do not condone yelling, as I don’t do it myself unless triggered which is rare. (ex: he yells 1-3 times a day, I yell maybe once per week after being pushed to my limit by his yelling)
He also plays video games all night after he gets home from work (he just started working when we got married, he works 40-50hrs/week) and expects me to do everything around the house, which is fine and
I don’t mind doing it all. But when it isn’t to his liking, he makes sure to tell me what I am doing wrong. And that’s where it gets annoying. He also complains when I ask him to do small tasks like take trash out or help with dishes or fix a light and complains that “He is my slave” Narc vibes?