Need to vent somewhere because if I say this to relatives, confirm become family drama.
My husband has been telling me for months that money is very tight. Every time I ask him to transfer his share for our child’s school fees, enrichment classes or even textbooks, his standard reply is, “No money this month, wait first.”
At first I believed him. I know Singapore is expensive. We have mortgage, utilities, groceries, insurance, transport… everything also going up. So I covered first. I paid the school fees, bought the uniforms, paid for the childcare holiday programme and even topped up the EZ-Link card because I didn’t want my child to be affected.
He kept promising he would “pay me back next month”.
Next month never came.
Fast forward a few months later, suddenly he proudly brought home a brand-new PS5. When I asked him where the money came from, he said it was “a reward for himself” because he had been stressed at work.
I was already annoyed but kept quiet.
Then this week he casually told me he booked a Japan trip with his colleagues. Not a company-paid trip. A proper holiday using his own money. Flights, hotel, food, shopping… everything.
When I reminded him that he still owed money for our child’s expenses, he actually said, “The trip already booked. School fees can settle later.”
I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
How can someone say they have no money for their own child, but somehow always have money for hobbies, gadgets and overseas holidays?
The funniest part is whenever friends or relatives are around, he acts like a responsible father. He’ll tell everyone that family comes first and children are his priority.
But behind closed doors, almost every expense somehow becomes my responsibility.
I’m not expecting luxury. I’m not asking him to buy branded bags or expensive jewellery for me. I’m literally asking him to contribute to his own child’s education.
Am I overreacting for feeling hurt?
For those who are married or divorced in Singapore, how do couples usually split children’s expenses? Is it supposed to be 50-50, based on income, or is one parent expected to shoulder everything while the other continues enjoying life?
I’m seriously wondering whether this is financial irresponsibility or if I’m simply being taken for granted. Would love to hear if anyone else has gone through something similar and how you dealt with it.