Standard SG family drama, but I really need reality check and advise from SG folks before I confront him.
Background: Married 8 years, one primary school kid. A few years ago, we agreed to open a joint “education fund” for our kid’s university fees. Every month, both of us transfer money inside. Total put inside already hit around $100k plus.
The problem is, my husband always insist to be the sole admin for this account under his own name to “optimise high interest rate” with his salary credit. Because I trusted him, I just transfer monthly to him directly. Everything look very legitimate, he even showed me fake Excel spreadsheets during monthly reviews.
How I found out: Last week, he went to shower and left his laptop unlocked. I saw an open bank statement PDF. Out of curiosity, I scrolled down.
Turns out the account balance is basically EMPTY.
When I checked the transfer history, almost every single month after my Paynow went in, he immediately PayNow the bulk of it out to some girl’s paynow (Jenny ****). I went full FBI mode and found out this girl is some young PRC PR lady working at a KTV/lounge near Bugis. He has been paying her monthly “allowance”, buying her branded bags, and even paid her condo rental deposit!
Basically, my hard-earned money meant for my child’s future was used to fund his secret sugar baby / mistress lifestyle. I was literally paying for my own husband’s extra-marital affair.
My current state: I am super numb right now. Haven’t confront him yet because I don’t want him to transfer remaining assets away or delete the bank statements/chat logs (yes, I secretly took photos of everything already).
Question for the legal / divorce gurus here:
- Since the money was Paynow from my account to his under the verbal agreement of a “child education fund”, can I sue him for cheating/fraud, or will HDB divorce lawyer just consider this as normal matrimonial asset split?
- How to prove in Family Court that this money was specifically misappropriated?
- Anyone got good, aggressive divorce lawyer recommendation that won’t charge exorbitant fees?
Really felt like my whole world collapsed. I sacrificed so much for the family, cut down on my own shopping just to build our child’s future, and he treat me like a free ATM for his mistress.
Please go easy on me in the comments. Thanks in advance, guys.