My (29F) husband (30M) says I can sleep with other people instead of him if I want to get intimate physically, I’m heartbroken but don’t know what to do.
His reason is there’s always a non-zero chance of having kids and we’re not ready for kids. This is a nonsense reason.
I asked him what about I have a non zero chance of getting pregnant if I sleep with other people, he says then it won’t be solely his responsibility.
He is loving otherwise and we cuddle a lot. He does most if not all the chores too. It breaks my heart that he doesn’t want to sleep with me and gives these reasons.
He thinks we can just have a marriage without any physical intimacy. It’s not like he has zero libido because he admits to touching himself to adult videos. Does this warrant a divorce?
Netizens’ comments
- If you want a divorce that warrants all the reason you need to get a divorce. If he doesn’t want to sleep with you and you can’t go without then yeah there needs to be a compromise or yeah divorce becomes a very realistic option. Honestly it would seem like something you might want to bring up to him.
- That’s either some serious health/pregnancy anxiety or just bs and he doesn’t want to sleep with you.
If it’s a form of anxiety or addiction to adult videos, it could be treated, but he’d have to admit he needs it and follow through.
I do think you should get a divorce, but …please whatever you do, do not do what he’s suggesting. He’s also essentially told you that he will not take responsibility if you get pregnant. He’d probably leave, I’d bet. - That’s unfortunate. First of all, while no birth control is EXACTLY 100% preventative… there are TONS of options out there to choose from, some of which are EXTREMELY effective – even more effective if you use multiple methods simultaneously. If he’s incredibly squeamish about not wanting to use methods A, B, or C, all the way through X, Y or Z, then there may be another issue that he’s using this as an excuse to mask. Sometimes it’s easier to lie and say “it’s a ME thing, not a YOU thing” than it is to just say something that you think is really going to hurt someone else.