I, 43f, am currently married to my husband, 49m. I have filed for divorce. We have 3 kids together all boys 14, 12, and 9. I have a son, 20 from a previous relationship that my husband also helped raise.
This story actually starts in Aug. On Sunday, my husband very out of character started a fight with me. He’s never done with me. He left. We worked it out and he came back with a list of 10 things he wanted changed to come back. We discussed it and worked it all out.
He told me I could make a list and I did with 4 things on mine. We had lost each other in raising and focusing on the kids.
We were in heaven for two weeks. Happiest we had been for years. I had been noticing he was on his phone a lot and when I would walk by he would quickly switch apps.
I had seen him deleting messages on Facebook and he got a random call. He claims him leaving the first time had nothing to do with another woman. It was about finding himself.
Monday, he was helping our youngest take a shower. He didn’t hear me coming. He jumped when I appeared. (He doesn’t startle easily so that was a shock to me.)
He quickly switched apps. I finally said I wanted to see his phone. He went into a full on panic mode and refused. There was no yelling this time. I pretty much told him it was “them” or the kids.
He left, changing his number, blocking me and our kids from any contact with him, quitting his job, and moving away. He left us with no money, no income, no insurance and all the bills to pay.
After he left, I learned that one night, he made a late night phone call. My 12 year old heard him and when asked about it the next day, my husband shushed him and gave him the death glare to stop him from bringing it up.
I also realized after he left that I was doing everything on his list but he didn’t do any on mine. Was I wrong to ask to look at his phone?