I had a really busy day today getting things together for my upcoming masters degree. As mentioned in a previous post I have a chronic illness which gives me debilitating pain and fatigue.
I don’t work, so I usually make dinner and do all the chores. Last night I went to bed super early because I was feeling unwell and didn’t wake up until late this morning. I didn’t do the dinner dishes.
This morning I was running late to an appointment so the dishes didn’t get done then either. Before I left I got the meat out for dinner to defrost, and while I was out I texted with my husband about what we were having and said I’d be back in time to make it. My errands took longer than expected so I just got home and it’s 9pm and I’m absolutely exhausted. It’s important to note my husband works from home.
When I walk in my husband is eating dinner. The dishes from last night are still in the sink. He asks me why I didn’t do them this morning. I told him I was running late and he asked why I didn’t set an alarm. I said “I wasn’t well and I didn’t expect to sleep the full night when I went to bed so I didn’t set an alarm, it should show you just how unwell I was that I ended up sleeping 14 hours”. All he said was “anyone can sleep that long”.
I then asked him why he didn’t wash the dishes and he said “I did as much as I can”. It looked like he had washed his plate and glass, not much more. He also said he washed the pan he used to make his dinner tonight. I asked where my dinner was and he said “I didn’t make you any, I didn’t know what you wanted.” I told him we had texted about it and he said he didn’t read it right. Maybe this part is true because he didn’t make himself what I had texted we were having. I said to him I feel like it was thoughtless of him to not at least text and ask if he could make a start on my dinner (we sometimes eat different things because I’m trying to lose weight) but he chose to just leave everything to me. He said he was really tired from work and “I’m not going to push myself to do more than I can when it’s not things I should be doing in the first place.” I asked him what happens when I’m at university next week and we’re both tired and there’s things to be done. He shrugged and said “I’ll do what I can but I’m not a machine.”
I’m currently lying in bed, hungry, tired, in pain, not sure whether to sleep or eat. Is this just my husband being really tired from work? Am I expecting too much from him?