I need to write this down because if I don’t I’m going to explode. I’m 38, stay-home mum for the past six years, two kids aged 5 and 9. My husband Marcus is 41, works in regional sales for a logistics MNC. We’ve been married 11 years, own a 5-room HDB flat in Bukit Batok under joint names, and up until three weeks ago I thought we were a normal, moderately comfortable Singaporean family.
Three weeks ago, a bank officer called our home number — yes, the landline, which only debt collectors and telemarketers use now — asking to speak to Marcus about a “secured loan in arrears.” I assumed it was a scam. Then another call from a different financial institution. Then a letter from a lawyer’s firm marked urgent. That’s when I started digging.
What I found: Marcus has four personal loans totalling around $180,000. Two from licensed banks, one from a licensed moneylender (legal, not loanshark, but still), and one that appears to be a private loan from someone I don’t recognise. On top of that, he has $95,000 in credit card debt spread across six cards — some I didn’t even know existed. He also took a personal line of credit from our joint bank account’s credit facility — $67,000 drawn down — which I technically co-signed years ago as a package deal when we refinanced the home loan and I didn’t read the documents properly. So my name is potentially on that one too.
Total: approximately $342,000. He earns maybe $8,500 a month.
I haven’t worked in six years. Our monthly mortgage repayment is $1,900. I do not understand how this happened and he has not given me a clear answer except “investment went wrong” and “I didn’t want to stress you.”
Investment. I asked which investment. He eventually admitted he had been trading contracts for difference — CFDs — and also put a significant amount into a crypto trading platform that he now believes was a pig butchering scam. He met someone on LinkedIn, they built a relationship over months, directed him to a platform that showed incredible returns, and then one day the platform was gone. At least $70,000 disappeared into that. The rest of the debt was apparently him borrowing to try to recover his losses. Classic trap — I’ve read about this pattern but never imagined it would happen to us.
I consulted a women’s legal clinic last week — first session was free, very helpful. The lawyer explained that for the HDB flat, since it’s under joint names, any forced sale would require both parties’ consent or a court order. She said I should immediately find out the outstanding home loan balance, our CPF usage on the flat, and whether Marcus has taken any additional loans with the flat as collateral — apparently this is possible in some circumstances and I need to rule it out urgently. She also explained the difference between matrimonial assets and personal debt under Singapore’s Women’s Charter — joint property doesn’t automatically get seized for one spouse’s personal debts, but it’s complicated if we divorce.
Divorce. That word. I keep turning it over.
I haven’t even decided anything yet but the lawyer said I should understand my position. Under the Women’s Charter, the court would consider the division of matrimonial assets, my six years as a homemaker, the children’s welfare and custody arrangements, potential maintenance for myself and the kids. She suggested I also get a sense of whether Marcus has any insurance policies, his CPF balance, any other assets I might not know about — because at this point clearly I don’t have full visibility into our finances.
I’m also terrified about the mortgage. If he defaults and we lose the flat, where do we go? My parents are in a 3-room flat. His parents are in Johor. Rental in Singapore right now is insane — I looked it up and a 4-room HDB rental is easily $2,800 to $3,500 a month. I have no income. My skills are six years out of date. I have two children who need stability.
I’ve started looking at retraining options — SkillsFuture credits, part-time diplomas, anything I can do while the kids are in school. I’m also looking at whether I qualify for ComCare assistance or any social service support in the interim. I feel so stupid for not being more financially independent. I thought trust was enough. It wasn’t.
Marcus is sorry. He cries every night.
I almost feel bad for him and then I remember I might lose my home because of decisions he made alone. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know what to do first. I’m seeing a counsellor this Thursday — first time in my life seeking mental health support and I genuinely don’t care anymore about the stigma, I just need help.
If anyone has gone through something similar — hidden debt, mortgage default risk, divorce with young kids in Singapore — please tell me what you did first. I feel like I’m trying to eat an elephant and I don’t know which end to start from.
TL;DR: Husband hid $342k in debt including credit cards, personal loans, and losses from a pig butchering crypto scam and CFD trading. Joint HDB flat at risk. Two young kids. No income. Trying to figure out my legal rights and next steps. Please help.