How to get husbands/boyfriends to do things, without having to nag them?
I hate it when my husband tells me to stop nagging. And I get it – I hated being nagged by my parents too when I was growing up.
However.. if I don’t nag, he simply does not do what I’ve asked him to do.
I carry 99% of the mental load in maintaining this household which includes a kid and having my in laws stay with us. Whatever tasks I can do myself, I’ll do it even though I am not a SAHM and work a demanding job. Whatever tasks I can’t do by myself or I feel need a joint decision, then I’ll ask him for help.
When I delegate tasks to my husband, it just doesn’t get done however. So i have to repeat myself. Then when I repeat myself a few times, the response is always, “can you stop nagging?”
For context, my husband’s job is demanding but only within working hours. He has a lot of time after work and during weekends to pursue his hobbies (sports, gaming, catching up with friends, etc) which I don’t restrict at all.
And one more thing that annoys me to no end. Sometimes when I am nagging, my husband will respond “You do lah! You got job meh?” I just think this is very disrespectful, because I DO have a goddamn job even if I earn less than 20% of what he earns.
So please help me. How do I get my husband to do things without having to escalate to nagging at him?
Thank you.
Update: I’ve noticed that some people mentioned that I definitely married him for his money – but that is not true. We met in university, and I definitely had no idea that our incomes would have such a huge gap. (In fact, I actually thought I would earn more than him, just from the median salaries of the graduates of the faculties we were each from.)
Also, I do not want to be a SAHM. Please do not underestimate the amount of work that a SAHM has to do. When Mondays come and I start work, I actually feel a sense of relief at finally getting a “break”. Definitely will go berserk if I’m a SAHM.