My husband went on a trip with a group of guys and many of them cheated on their wives. I want to tell them but it would be obvious it was my husband who told me.
Like the title says. My husband went on a trip with a group of men. Many of these are friends of a mutual friend on the trip. He knew 3 of the guys before hand and met the rest on the trip.
They went to a place known for its red light districts (the place rhymes with bank talk). Had my husband not FaceTimed me while some of this stuff was happening, I don’t think I’d believe that he was innocent and didn’t participate.
Most of the men are married with kids and one has a long term gf. Of the group of men, my husband and one other guy were the only ones who didn’t take up the offer of girls from their ‘tour and security’ guy. That term is used loosely as he was also the guy offering them party favours and women.
My husband told me on the condition that he does not want something to come out later and he be implicated by association. He felt that I should know what was happening on this trip and he can’t risk our relationship.
He also said I cannot inform any of the wives and they would know it was him who broke the ‘bro code’. They all seemed so comfortable cheating on their spouses and he said it didn’t seem like it was their first time.
Someone we know very closely and wouldn’t imagine doing something like this also participated. He ended up cutting the trip short as well as he didn’t want to continue hanging out with some of these people.
I am so conflicted and hurt by these people. I will be seeing these wives and gf at events and some of them frequently – how can I NOT tell them?!
I feel as a woman, I would want to be informed. However, my husband said it is not our business as to what their marriages are like.
He told me that there is no way their wives don’t have an inkling. Before he went to this destination, we looked it up and i mentioned to my husband that because this is what people go there to do, I’m slightly uncomfortable and his assurance was that he would openly communicate with me and let me know everything that happened. Which he did. I don’t think he expected what happened on this trip either.
I just don’t know how to respect these people and continue being friends with them as well as not spilling the beans. If I am cold with them or don’t interact with them, they will know something is up as I’m usually bubbly and outgoing.
The only innocent people are my husbands friend (who is single) and his one other friend who abstained and hung out with my husband. However, it is upsetting that all of these men condoned and basically enabled each others behaviour – my husband included.
How do I move forward, I just really don’t know. It’s making me question if my morals align with my husband but I also know he is in a very tough spot.