Alright. So one time we had an aunt over at home. For some particular reason I don’t like her but she is my mother’s older sister and I am expected to respect her. Abiding my mother’s warning to be nice to her, sit on the dinner table like a good kid and then I can retire to my room doing whatever as ladies carried on the night with gossip and family stuff.
Everything went well, I managed to survive. Just as the dinner was over she asked me, “could you please be a doll and get me a toothpick, I got something major stuck in my teeth”. I looked over the table n drawer but couldn’t find any. My mom said, “go get some from your utility pouch that you keep for school” I didn’t want to. I could hear my mom saying as beaming with pride at my skill of being organized, “such a dork this one. Has a different pouch of utility with first aid, basic grooming, nail cutters, and even handy weapons if she gets in trouble. I never have to worry about this one”
As I am looking for the toothpicks, I found them. Suddenly I had the worst idea ever. I took off my socks and cleaned up my toenails with the toothpicks and went out with biggest and nastiest grin on my face. Big enough for my mom to be suspicious instantly. I hand over the toothpicks to my aunt. And go to my room.
My mother inquired and I told her what I did and oh boy! She had been ‘what is wrong with my upbringing’ and ‘you are a shame on me’ furious. Fortunately she didn’t tell my aunt and I was punished. And even bigger fortune was that my aunt’s DIGESTIVE SYSTEM was very strong. Nothing happened to her.
Now that I am over a decade older I still wonder how I had the thought. I have a good laugh about it every now and then. But sure enough, I ll never do it to any human being again. Unless….