We were bar hopping at Clark Quay with a group yesterday and in one of the bars, three ang moh men came in. We were on our way to the SG river to sit there and enjoy the rest of the evening and one of our guys asked the three ang moh tourist to come with us to the river, 3 seconds after they came in. He probably did not think about how randomly inviting three strange men could affect the women in the group so I will let that pass.
One of the ang moh went directly for me and immediately came way too close. I was okay with talking with him because I like to practice my English but his jokes about having S with me and kissing me after like 5 minutes of talking clearly overstepped a line.
I then went to walk with some of my friends so he would leave me alone. On our way to the river his 2 other friends stayed behind so he was the only one of the three who stayed with us.
After I got rid of him he talked with another woman of our group. Shortly after she came to us and told us that he made her uncomfortable as well and that she needs us as a safe space right now. He made S comments to her to and lay his arm around her shoulder etc.
After that he went to the next woman. I was watching them to check if she is okay. Because I was not sure I went to her and said in our native language, which he does not understand, that if she feels uncomfortable she can tell me and I get rid of him. She immediately said that she indeed feels uncomfortable and I promised that I would be right back to send him away.
Here comes the part that really made me lose my trust in men.
I knew that he would not take me seriously if I told him to go alone. So I asked one of my male friends, who I thought would join me immediately if I say that there is a man who makes us women uncomfortable. Instead he did not react at all. All men around us, who heard me saying whats going on did not react.
The only person standing up to come with me was my female friend and I know how much she is afraid of confrontations, not to mention with strange men. Only as I said „Okay then I will go alone“ and making my way to the guy, three of the men stood up and followed me. The one I initially asked still sat there, not reacting at all.
I confronted the sexist guy, he of course denied it all and told me I was imagining things. When he drew the racist cart, and said we are sending him away because he is not local
He wanted that we feel the need to demonstrate that we are in fact not racist at all and put him self in the victim role. Three of the men kept talking with him for 5 minutes, helping him to find his way home and I imagine comforting him. It did not look like they were defending us women there but more like they sympathized with him.
The one I initially asked did still not say anything about the situation and would not for the rest of the night. When the men of our group finally came back one of them said „I did not see it happen so I have no opinion.“ We told him that when three women felt uncomfortable he does not need to see it happen to believe them.
So that night I discovered that I can not trust the men around me