So here’s the story. We are planning an upcoming big family event. My in-laws, being super traditional, insists on going to some famous Feng Shui master/monk to choose an “auspicious date” (huang dao ji ri). We gave them our blacked-out dates months in advance. I specifically highlighted ONE date to avoid: my own birthday. Not because I need a giant parade, but because I just want ONE day a year where I can eat a peaceful meal, play games, or chill without having to host 50 relatives and play nice with people I barely tolerate.
Guess what date the master picked? MY BIRTHDAY.
When I brought it up, expecting a simple “Oh sorry, let’s pick the second best date,” my MIL hit me with the ultimate guilt trip. She said, “Ei, this master very accurate one, hard to book! The date calculated based on BaZi, best for family fortune and prosperity. Your birthday happens every year, but this event only happens once! Don’t be so selfish, can?”
EXCUSE ME? Selfish???
I turned to my spouse expecting some backup. What did I get? “Aiya, just give in to them la, make them happy. We can celebrate your birthday next weekend what.”
I am bloody furious. Why is it always the younger generation that has to bend over backwards to accommodate all these arbitrary rules? If the Feng Shui master is so powerful, how come he didn’t calculate that picking my birthday would cause instant chong (clash) and extreme harmony-destruction in the household?!
Now I’m being framed as the unfilial, petty in-law who cares more about a personal birthday than “family fortune.” Meanwhile, I’m expected to spend my whole birthday smiling, pouring tea, answering standard kaypoh questions (“When buying BTO? When having next one?”), and eating catered bento sets while my own feelings get swept under the carpet.
Honestly feel like booking a solo flight to Bangkok on that exact day and turning off my phone. Let them explain to the guests where the main character went.
TL;DR: In-laws chose my birthday for a big family event based on “auspiciousness”. When I protested, I got branded as selfish, and my spouse told me to just suck it up. SIGH.
What would you do in my position? Would you just suck it up for peace, or nuclear option and MIA on the day itself?