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Friday, December 8, 2023


So to start I’m a 19-year-old girl and my BF work at the same place, we have kept our relationship at work secret to minimise unwanted attention and questions about us (we’ve been best friends our whole lives and started dating half a year ago) since we aren’t very social people.


Around a month ago a colleague started to show interest in talking to me after 4 months of just looking at me from a distance, I didn’t mind talking but he began to show signs that he wanted to be more than friends, he had been flirtatious and would open up a lot about sad things and would talk to me every chance he could, I tried to show I wasn’t interested in that way without telling him about my relationship (of which he was already suspicious of) but eventually, I had to tell him about my BF because he was trying to make less subtle advances.

After I told him he was visibly upset and then told me that he did indeed have a “huge crush” on me, to which I said to go on as just friends and to not make anything awkward, (btw we were placed on a station at this time and couldn’t separate) so after this, we’d have to talk every day still, he would blame me for his crush claiming I had led him on and would talk to me a lot in a very perverted way, objectifying me and sexualising me. He would talk about my relationship with my BF making judgements that were completely untrue like saying that our relationship was codependent and weird, seemingly trying to undermine and cause doubts about my relationship.

He’s been trying over and over to get me to go out to the pub (bar) to drink with him and some colleagues, to which I always refuse but he insists telling me that I have to socialise (btw I’m very easy to manipulate which is very obvious to people) he also says that he doesn’t want my BF to come with me, he has spoken to me about “getting high” before and told me he does them a lot and knows how to get them which makes me a little more creeped out.

I have no idea what his intentions are, and I have no idea what he is capable of but it seems quite obvious that he could easily manipulate me into doing things I don’t want to and to take me to places I don’t want to go. He’s made comments about seeing me naked and trying to sleep with me, making comments about my body like noticing my breasts look a little bigger.


But yeah he seems to be trying to interfere with my and my bf, trying to wedge us apart constantly even when we’re talking, and then wants me to go out to places I’m not safe nor comfortable without allowing me to make my own decision. He complains that my bf doesn’t like him but says he should try to get to know him before he makes judgements but then judges our relationship without knowing a single thing about us.

What do I do?

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