I cannot tahan already. Every day wake up 4am, still dark outside, just to catch the factory bus or squeeze like sardines in the Causeway jam. For what? My legs are aching, my head is spinning from the 1:3.5 exchange rate stress, and the moment my salary goes into my POSB account, my heart starts to sink.
Because I know that money is not for me. It’s not for my parents’ ang bao, not for my savings, not even for a nice meal at Mid Valley.
The Useless Boyfriend
The moment I cross back to JB, he’s there. Not to ask if I’m tired or if I’ve eaten, but to ask if the money is “in” already. To pay for his debts. Credit card lah, car installment lah, then now got some “business” problem some more. I am working like a dog in Singapore, dealing with Singaporean bosses and the fast-paced life there, just to be his personal ATM in Malaysia.
I look at my friends, they buy bags, they go Japan, they can renovate their house. Me? I look at my bank balance and it’s always back to zero. I feel so sian. The love is gone, replaced by this heavy weight on my shoulders.
I told him I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the jam, sick of the 12-hour shifts, but mostly, I’m sick of paying for a life he didn’t even work for. If I’m going to suffer at the CIQ every single day, at least let it be for my own future. Not to clear his mess.
Honestly, sometimes I look at my friends who date Singaporean guys and I feel so jealous. Not say I’m materialistic, but at least their life is more “steady.” Most Singaporean guys I see at work, they are very disciplined one. They calculate their CPF, they plan for their BTO, and they actually have a proper savings goal. If I date a guy there, maybe I don’t need to cross the bridge every day like a zombie. We can just settle down there, take the MRT, and I don’t have to worry about someone asking me for money the moment I touch down in JB. Their mindset is just different—more stable, more “on” about the future. Sometimes I think, if I had a Singaporean boyfriend, at least my hard-earned SGD would stay in my own pocket, and we could actually build a life together instead of me just digging him out of a hole.
Enough is enough. I’m done being the “Singapore worker” who only lives to pay off someone else’s mistakes. If he cannot stand on his own two feet, then he can watch me walk away on mine. Better I stay single and save my own money than stay with a man who drains my soul and my wallet.
Chit-chat over, better I focus on myself now.