A local homosexual man has given his feedback on how he felt homosexual men in Singapore are when it comes to hooking up or going into a relationship. He stated that they are extremely superficial and only go for muscles and looks.
Here is the full story.
I’m a year 3 guy in a biz degree. So I’ve been single all my life because I’ve struggled with my sexuality since primary school, where I realised I wasn’t interested in the typical p*rn links that my friends were secretly passing around.Ever since entering uni, I’ve come to grasp that I am indisputably gay, and upon embracing my sexuality decided that I am ready to find a lifelong partner.
Since getting to know a few people from LGBT groups such as NTU kaleidoscope, I’ve come to learn a very unfortunate truth.The gay community (culture?) in Singapore is largely hookup-centric and extremely superficial. Most gay men I’ve spoken to have stated that body and looks are the #1 factor in finding a partner, and they’re also more interested in getting to know someone by banging them multiple nights in a row than spending the first few dates doing “straight” dating stuff like going to cafes or movies.
Most gay men have also stated clear preferences for muscular bodies, big biceps, solid chests etc. Bonus for facial hair. All the openly gay couples I see in school or on the streets are… Really good looking. Both of them are often handsome and have either buff or beautifully lithe figures.
I am unfortunately a slightly plump and short guy, and I swim regularly but I can’t find enough time to develop the kind of body that the typical gay man is attracted to. And yeah, I can’t grow facial hair.
Also I seem to be the odd duck that prefers to develop relationships like my straight friends have. Studying together, maybe chilling a bit, weekend dates and then if everything’s great, ask to stead. Only then am I willing to engage in sex.It’s been 3 years and I’ve been on gay dating apps, speed dating events, met up with about 20 potential dates who were pleasant enough over text… And nothing. Half lost interest when they see me irl, and the other half when I expressed that I was not dtf.
I’ve debated posting this for a long time because I do not want to cast the gay community in a negative light, especially since we are an oppressed minority in many ways. But I need a wake up call, someone to confirm that the gay dating scene IS like that and I just have to brave through my discomfort and stop rejecting outright sexual advances if I want to develop a relationship.
Or is there maybe a less hookup-centric app? Like paktor/CMB but for gays? If you’ve read till here, thank you for doing so. I am very sorry if this is portrays gay men in Singapore badly, it is really not my intention. I hope I’ve been only unlucky so far.