Me and my ex broke up after 1 year together. At first when we first matched on dating app, she stood out immediately. We talked non stop everyday and kept going on dates. I was surprised as she would drive over to fetch me and pay for dates. We could also talk for hours and still have things to talk about. which is something I have never experienced before.
However she had some things I didn’t like / red flags. She was vegetarian, smoke and drinks with guy friends, had a very high body count as she used to play around. She has to listen to a podcast to sleep and was very controlling too. I was the ‘good boy’ kind who don’t drink or smoke, and always sleeps early and exercise regularly so our personality don’t really match. Moreover our first month together her ex called her everyday and she always answered the call in front of me. I told her to block him but she didn’t listen. She assured me that she had no more feelings for him. However when her ex asked for money, she still gave him $2k. Her reason was to return him the favour that he treated her very well previously and she will never contact him again. I was super angry and thought of ending things with her and find someone else. But she managed to win me back and things got better.
Things were good for a while. But few months later, problems started to surface again. I kept pointing out her red flags as she was controlling up till the point where I felt suffocated. Once we went to a cafe to chill and talk. But we ended up quarreling because we kept pointing out each other’s bad points. We went overseas and I was already tired from a whole day out, but she still wanted to go drink and have supper. I felt she didn’t care about me. We also quarrelled just because I replied hi only to a stranger on fb, and called my female friend (which she knew) without telling her. We always quarreled over small things but would always communicate and patch things up and improve for each other afterwards. She felt I dont initiate much and I did more after she told me to. Even after all these quarrels I still stayed as she treats me very nice and she was the person who I can connect the most with. I also became more accepting of the things I didn’t like about her.
When we went to overseas together, I was the one who led the way and made sure we were not late / the trip go as planned. But I felt she just kept being unhappy / quarrel over certain things. It was a tiring trip for me but still fun with her nonetheless. She supported me when we were hiking and exhausted. TBH we should have broken up already at this point. But we just couldn’t let go of the fact that when we were happy, we were really really happy being together. But the lows were really low too.
Things were okay afterwards but eventually she initiated the break up and I accepted it as I was thinking the same thing too. After awhile We tried to patch things up again but it didn’t work out. I really wish things turned out differently between us. We had so much fun and went to so many different places. We showed each other our side of the world which we would never have experienced. I reflected over myself and I should have been more accepting for her. So many quarrels could have been avoided if only one of us was the bigger person and try to resolve things instead of trying to one up each other.