I met an amazing girl and we hit off very well from the start. I was a V before I met her.
On the third date, we kissed and before we proceeded further, she innocently told me about her past 4 experiences (2 relationships, 1 fwb and 1 ons).The fwb and ons were just before she met me and she regretted those. It sullied the intimate kiss moment for me but I was willing to brush it aside.
On the subsequent meetings, without me asking, she showed me the pictures and races of the 4 relationships and it honestly messed with my head. I did not need to know the details and her just spilling everything hurt me so much that I cried when I went home. I tried to convince myself that her past is her past and I should just focus on the future but it did not work.
When we had S a few times, I did not enjoy fully because in my mind I was thinking that she must have learnt this from her fwb or her ons.
I went to see a therapist about it and the therapist told me that it was up to me to decide.
While many may say her past is her past, she is who she is because of her past, etc. You are not wrong but I was disturbed by the following things:
1- she told me too much info of her past without me asking and that was not appropriate. Especially on our special intimate day when we kissed.
2- I am a simple man who believes that everyone has a past and I don’t want to know everything about your relationship’s past
3- she did the fwb and ons immediately after her second relationship when she was feeling down and stressed from work. To make matters worse, she regretted it (the fwb guy started developing feelings and she was uncomfortable while she slept with the ons guy because she loved his tatoos). This hurt me even more for some reason.
4- I see S as a way to emotionally connect with people in a relationship. While S does not necessarily mean the same thing for her.
Even though we connected very well with each other. I felt that it was right to break up since our values are different and it would be fair to both of us.
But the one key takeaway is that you don’t have to force yourself to accept a person’s past. Its alright if you are not okay with it.
I broke up with her, yes I might be mental.