Growing up, my mom always pushed the importance of family connections onto me, as she was close-knit with hers growing up. She believes that family will always need each other and always comes first, and is always trying to get me to follow that principle.
It’s not quite the same for me, though. All of her relatives lived near each other, while mine live overseas. We’ve only ever visited so many times, and that was in my early childhood. It’s hard for me to remember my time with my relatives because I was simply too young. She usually got along fine with her family as well, whereas her and my relationship is rather strained.
Because of this, I don’t really have a connection with my relatives or my mom.
The relatives knew me as a little kid and hear of my activities now on occasion, but that’s how far it goes. Never went to grandma’s house or played with my cousins after school, that part of life that’s so integral to some has never been present in mine. I’ve never been able to get close to my mother either, but that’s a whole other story for a different time.
Due to these reasons, it’s hard for me to desire a relationship with my family. It’s something that’s always been absent in my life, so therefore I haven’t ever really desired it. To me, they’re people who knew me as a baby and call ever so often to ask me the same dated questions they always do.
My mom seriously thinks I’m horrible for treating them like this, and I do feel bad about it, but I can’t help the way I feel. I just don’t know these people and yet I’m forced to have interactions with them. I don’t feel as greatly for them as they do for me.
I honestly don’t want a relationship with my relatives. Is that wrong of me?
Here are what netizens thinks:
- I don’t think you ought to be rude or cut them off entirely, but it sounds like you’re just deciding not to actively cultivate the relationship, which is fine.
- Family is what or with who you make it, not the blood line you were born into.
- Despite what some people want to believe relationships aren’t forged in blood. They’re forged in bonds and you simply haven’t had a chance to bond with any of your relatives. Now theres still chance for you to do so but you’re also not obligated to