It started a few months ago when I left my job, I was on Tinder trying to find someone to hook up with and also kill some time. I saw this very attractive older woman and decided to swipe right because you know, it’s every 20-something year olds dream to hook up with a ‘mother’.
A few days go by and I get a notification that I have a new match. Wahoo! I open up the app and lo and behold it’s the ‘mother’ I was hoping for.
Started to chat and flirt and one thing led to another
We start chatting and flirting, it’s going really well. Out of nowhere she messages me and says “I’m not sure how this app works, do we just meet to have relations or do we go on a date first?”
I was drinking coffee at the time and promptly shot it out both nostrils. My chance had come. I replied back that people generally just meet up to go to have relations together but I’m easy either way.
She replies “well good because I hate formalities” I nearly let go in my pants in excitement. She sends me her address and tells me she’s free on Friday and to bring wine.
The rest of that whole week was a complete blur of anxiety. I could not screw this up.
Did it like rabbits
So Friday comes, I show up with wine, she looks moking hot. Better in person. We talk about music and travelling and all that, not many personal details (which would come back to haunt me) just sort of arts & culture talk.
A few glasses of wine later and were full blown going at it like rabbits on the middle of her living room. I left a little while later feeling like I’m the king of the entire universe and go to sleep.
The next day she texts me saying how she had a great time, and it made her feel young again and blah blah blah. She says she’s off every Friday and Saturday and that next week we should do the same.
This has been going on for roughly 3 months, we meet up once or twice a week, do it like animals, and then go on our merry way until one of us wants it again. Sweet deal right? Wrong.
Discovered that her son was my ex colleague
I messaged her yesterday saying that I had no plans and asked if she wanted to meet up, she said her son was taking her out to lunch, and that I could come over at 3pm.
She had mentioned she had a son before but didn’t go any further and I didn’t really care to ask.
So 3pm comes and I’m almost at her house when she messages me that she’s running late; no problem. I park on the roadside and sort of just wait in my car because her car wasn’t back in her front porch yet.
I’m sitting there listening to the radio when an oddly familiar SUV pulls into the drive. I sorta looked at it funny and then I immediately realized where I knew it from.
My ex colleague(M23) jumps out of the front seat, goes around to her side of the vehicle, gives her a kiss on the cheek and a hug and then jumps back in the car. My jaw was on the ground.
He reversed out of the driveway and stupid me is sitting like a deer in the headlights in plain sight. He turns around and is literally 10 metres in front of my car and staring directly at me.
My face goes bright red and I feel like I’m going to vomit. Me and this guy work together every single day last time and I consider him a friend of mine, I even trained him when he started at my company.
What was worse is I’ve been telling him (in detail) about this older lady and he’s been giving me immense kudos about it saying that it’s “his dream”.
Pretended I was not here for his mum
He pulls up beside me and looks very confused, asks me what I’m doing and how funny it was we ran into each other.
I panic completely and stumble over my words and pretend like I’m on the wrong street and trying to find my cousins house.
He looked skeptical but sort of shrugged it off. The whole time his mother is standing there watching us through the curtains. He directs me where to go and I pull off and then circle back once he’s gone.
Needless to say I went inside and told her what was up, and we both sort of sat there in silence before I left. No boom boom today.
I am now panicking, there’s no way he’s not going to know right?
And he’s gonna realize all these wild escapades with this she devil night mistress I’ve been telling him about is actually his mum?