I (30M) am studying in UK overseas for a year. Nearing the end of my study, my friend Rita (31 F) asks me when I will leave the city so she can visit me along with her other friend.
Soon my girlfriend (36F) jumps on board so she can come to help me pack and share the baggage allowance on the way back. We made some arrangements so that we all leave the city on the same day.
I told Rita that I will be in the thick of my final dissertation and that I might be opting for something else I planned instead of her plan, but we can always separate and go where each wants to go. I mentioned this several times because even though we are friends for a long time, we are totally different people.
Rita is more outgoing and likes cool stuff, modern design, arts & craft, fashion, dancing, clubbing, shopping, etc, a proper-it girl. While I’m more of an introvert and like to see something with history, tradition, and classical arts and frankly much more boring to her taste.
I also dread shopping besides online one. I mentioned all this so she can make plans with her other friend instead. A couple of months before the date, Rita’s friend bailed on her and now it’s just me, Rita, and my gf.
However, because of bad planning on my part, I couldn’t finish my work in time before the trip and tell her that I need to go home early each day but she was free to explore the city without me as she has been here before and can speak English just fine.
The day has come and Rita arrives first and I go to all the places according to her plan.
On the first day we got back quite late and I didn’t have time to finish as much work as I wanted to. So I told her that I won’t join her the next day. She didn’t complain at first but later that day mentioned that it’s so lonely to travel alone and eat alone during the day (I come out to have dinner with her, when she promptly asks whether my work is finished as if it’s a 1000 words essay.
I’ve been depressed and under a lot of stress right now but I never show it when I’m with her as it is not productive or fun for anyone and she commented on it that I don’t look stressed out at all. I don’t know how to respond to this.
Then my GF came and took over the job of ushering her around town. But on the third day of my GF’s visit, my GF got sick and stay in bed for a day. I stay back with her as I’m not planning got join the morning plan anyway. Now Rita is pouting that we are not joining her and that she has to have lunch alone again or possibly the whole afternoon alone.
I mostly travel alone and eating alone is normal for me, so I never know what it’s like to be lonely on a trip. A company is nice but not needed. I am not sure what that feels like so I’m not sure if I’m being a bad friend here. It’s actually quite eye-opening to me since we are in our thirties and I didn’t expect this to happen.