My wife (29F) and I (32M) have been together for 5 years, living together for 3 years. We live in a 3 bedroom HDB flat.
When we first moved here, I was working from home while she was working in an office. The COVID came and, like many other couples, we struggled with spending 24h together, but we pulled through. When she went back to the office, things started to get better.
Several months ago her office closed and she started working from home. We set up a desk in the bedroom so she could work comfortably.
After a while, she started complaining because she does not like working in the same room where she sleeps. She says it’s hard for her to separate personal time from work time this way, and I totally get it. Also, we have 2 dogs that sometimes like to play in that room, and it can be annoying as well.
She wants to move her desk to the other room where I work so we work together, but I don’t, and here’s why:
My main reason is that I don’t want us to spend 24 hours together again. I don’t think it would be healthy for any of us and our relationship. Apart from that, I need a lot of focus for my job, and I have made sure to accommodate the room to be as isolated from noise as possible. She is very noisy while working. It’s not her fault, she just needs to be on many calls and speak all the time, but we are just not compatible for working in the same space. Finally, while we could fit 2 desks in that room, it’s a very small room and we would both be uncomfortable.
Since I don’t want us to work in the same room and I understand why she does not want to work in the bedroom either, I have suggested renting her a small office or coworking space. There are very nice places around that are within our budget, and I would pay for it too since that space will be good for both of us.
She says that she also wants the benefits of working from home and does not want to go outside to work, which is understandable. Working from home can be very convenient and I see why she does, not t want to go back to working outside.
I just think that our flat is not suitable for 2 people working, I have a lot of expensive equipment that I don’t feel comfortable leaving in a coworking space, so I would have to set it up every day. I think it makes more sense if she is the one who works outside.
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