I have really enjoyed hanging out with this girl who I have known since the start of poly. She is gorgeous and sweet but she had a boyfriend that had very unfortunately passed away.
Early last semester. I talked to her at the bar and she gave me her number. We had texted over break and I saw her the night she arrived back in town.
We have hung out twice since then and we have hooked up one night at the bars. But when I was in her house she had 10 pictures of her previous boyfriend on the walls in her room that I could not help but stare at when she was not looking.
She also had a scrapbook on her nightstand. She did bring up his death once to explain a story but to be honest, it made me a tad uneasy to hear and I kept the conversation moving. Her friend told me she was doing better and I had nothing to have any big worries about, she seemed motivated and has a clear direction.
She said she smoked and drink a lot to help cope but has since stopped. I was hoping to maybe get some insight from you guys about what she is thinking and how I can be the best to help her if this does turn into a meaningful relationship of mine.
Here are what netizens think:
- My first decent boyfriend died when we were 20. One of the hardest things about it was that people are really uncomfortable discussing death. Try to listen. Don’t feel like you’re in competition with this guy, or that her grief lessens her feelings for you. A few weeks after he died I was back to work and basically functioning but it took at least a year before I was back to normal. Expect that certain days might be hard like his birthday and death day.
- Don’t bother too much your competing with a dead person, you will never lose
I’m dating a widow. In short I let her take things at the pace she wants to do them and don’t pretend that her late husband doesn’t exist.
Just be respectful. If she needs a moment to mourn about it let her.
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