My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year now and I really do love her. She’s kind, funny, and I’m really attracted to her—or at least I was. Recently, she’s put on some weight, and it’s making me feel like I’m no longer attracted to her. It’s been hard to get hard for her, and I feel awful about it.
I know it’s not her fault that she’s put on some weight—I’m sure there are a variety of factors at play here. But I just can’t help but feel like I’m not as attracted to her anymore. We’ve had a few awkward moments in bed where I just can’t seem to get aroused. She’s starting to get really self-conscious about it, and I feel like an awful boyfriend for not being able to get hard for her.
HARD TO GET HARD
I don’t want to make her feel bad or make her think that I don’t find her attractive anymore. I still love her and I still think she’s beautiful, but the weight gain has definitely made it harder for me to get aroused. I’m embarrassed to talk to her about it, but I know I need to. We need to find a way to work through this and make our S-life work.
My first thought was to just try to ignore the fact that she’s gained some weight and focus on being aroused by the things that I know will usually get me going. But that hasn’t really worked. I’ve tried to focus on her body, her movements, the way she touches me and talks to me, but it’s just not clicking for me. I can’t seem to get aroused no matter how hard I try.
I’ve been doing a lot of research lately, trying to figure out why this is happening. I’ve discovered that a lot of men have a hard time getting aroused when their partner has put on some weight. It seems to be a common issue, and I’m relieved that I’m not alone in this.
The more I read, the more I realized that the issue isn’t that I’m not attracted to my girlfriend anymore. It’s more that I’ve become accustomed to her body looking a certain way, and her weight gain has thrown off my expectations. I’m starting to understand that I need to lower my expectations and accept her as she is now.
I’ve also been trying to be more open with my girlfriend about how I’m feeling. I’ve told her that I still find her attractive, but that the weight gain has made it hard for me to get aroused.
She did not take things kindly, she cried and ran off. I’m thinking if I should call her or just block her?