Seeking advice for how to handle a situation.
My wife and I have been together for 17 years – 2 kids, dog, house, all that stuff. We’re both pretty comfortable speaking our minds in that we’re not prudes, or conservative, but we’re also not overly promiscuous either.
We get busy with work, kids, etc. like everyone else, so we haven’t slept together much as I’d like, but who does.
All that said, I recently found some pretty explicit videos in her browser history – g@ng bang type of stuff. I’m not bothered that it’s a turn on for her. I’ve got my own interests as well.
I’m bothered that she hasn’t been honest with me about her fantasies, turn on’s, etc. I recently shared some of mine with her, but disappointed she hasn’t shared similarly.
How, if at all, can I bring this up to her to potentially use it as something we can explore together?
Netizens’ comments
- If you see something that you like in her history bring it up as your own. If she likes it she will respond favorably but pushing and coming from a place of snooping doesn’t seem like a winning tactic for you.
- What you watch doesn’t mean that’s their personal preference, could just be she likes watching someone in that situation or thats whatever was suggested and they just followed the trail, or maybe there were just some camera angles there that worked in the moment, etc. I wouldn’t read into it.
- It’s not that deep. Could’ve just been a rabbit hole she went down that felt right at the time.
- Everyone is different, but more often than not fantasies of such videos fall into the “hot fantasy but never ever ever in real life” category of desire. It’s popular with women – including myself- because it allows us explore those feelings on our own terms – no judgement, no fear of an outside person taking things too far or misinterpreting them. Even with men I trust – I’d rather share things I want to genuinely try with my partner.