My bf [29m] gave me [22f] an odd gift. I am not sure how to feel about it.
I started seeing my bf 2 years ago and moved in with him almost exactly a year ago. He gave me a gift of $2500 on the anniversary of moving in. It was a lot of money and he told me why when he gave it to me.
He said that he didn’t want me to ever feel like I was financially trapped with him. He handles most of the finances in the home and I chip in for dates sometimes.
Most of my money at the moment goes to finishing school. He told me that he grew up with a mother who couldn’t leave her physically and emotionally toxic relationship because of money and that even though he’s not either of those things, he wants to make me feel as safe as possible. He mentioned that he’d like me to save the money for a rainy day.
I just told him that I have no idea how to react to this but just said thank you. After that we just started talking about our days and things like that. Almost as if it never happened.
It’s still gnawing at me though and I am not sure how to bring it up. This is a lot of money and I have no feelings of leaving him or anything of the sort.
What kind of behavior is this?
Netizens’ comments
- I think it was a kind gesture of him, based on his family history, but since it’s not something you see everyday, it can be perceived as strange.
I suggest keeping the money on a savings account or investing it on something safe. If the relationship ends you can return the money if you’re still not comfortable using it, but if the relationship gets more serious you can use it to buy a house or something together in the future. - I think he just wanted to assure you (and himself) that you are there because you want to be, not because you have to be. If you wanted to leave right now you could use that money for a rent deposit. But you’re not, you’re staying there and you want to be there. He doesn’t want you to feel trapped.
If you uncomfortable with this, assure him you have your own money and could get a place on our own if you wanted, but you don’t want to. Then offer to use the money for something for your place like a nice new mattress or something. - Frankly you may have hit the jackpot – not the money, the man.
Very few men are aware of how easily women can get trapped financially. If they know, they don’t care or don’t act on it. Your boyfriend knows and he acted on it.
I hope all else is well, because you may have found a truly good one.