I’m really afraid to love or commit myself fully in a relationship.
The first crush I had, we clicked well together and we ended talking just like how couples do. But maybe I’m the only one who think that we’re in a rs after all. She ended up ghosting me out of nowhere which makes me question a lot on what had I done wrong and why.
After a few years, I was ready to love and give it a go again to find someone that I want to spend my whole life with. Due to my career and work, it was difficult to meet someone new. So I decided to try on a dating app, which most of my friends found their one there.
And finally after almost close to a year, I matched a girl during circuit breaker period. Our conversation are always two way and we clicked so well. Long story short, we ended up in a rs. Two years plus gone by so fast and I’ve always thought she is the one. What I didn’t expect, suddenly happens. One day, she just drop a big bomb out of nowhere saying all the flaws that I have and things she dislike about me and this rs which she didn’t mention before cause she said she wants to be understanding.
I’ve always told her to let me know what’s she had on her mind or about me so all along I thought everything was fine. In the end, she break it off over a text saying love isnt enough here anymore which I don’t get why she wouldn’t give us a chance or at least meet in person. I couldn’t accept that things just ended this way so I went over and met her. Just to tell her the solutions I came up with to overcome this situation, but the more I talk to her I started to notice she’s gone.
The last thing she said to me was smth too painful for me to deal with. She said she didn’t want to do this to me, and tbh she found someone new and is happier now. Yea I was shocked and took me awhile to get my mind back because it’s just right after we broke up. So yea I really wish her the best, there’s nothing I could do anymore. She’s the only one that I gave all my love to, therefore this is the biggest trauma I have.
I’m afraid to love again just for this to happen in the end. Knowing all the promises doesn’t mean anything and can be broken off so easily. I just feel like I’m replaceable and can be dispose anytime when ppl find someone better than me.
Thank you for reading, it really meant a lot to me to be able to share it out. Sorry if my English is not up to standard. Hope everyone stays strong and have a good day.