Anything I need to know before marrying a Malaysian?
She is from JB and went to RGS when she was 13. Before that she went to several international schools all over the ASEAN region. NUS Med. I’m NUS Med too. Accent is indistinguishable from any Singaporean I know. Maybe a bit too atas but I don’t know if it’s because of RGS or because she’s from a really rich family in JB. Also my father is a taxi driver so I’m not exactly in her class.
Her father owns 80% of a listco in Malaysia. Yet, very humble (almost cheap) family. Her father drives a 20-year-old Camry and refuses to buy a new car before his current one breaks. He does go all out in certain things, particularly education of his children and real estate. She has a paid-off 3-room condo to her name in Holland Village that her father bought for her. My girlfriend is also cheap. She thinks traveling for leisure is a waste of money, thinks Starbucks is a waste of money etc. Every time I meet her she would find a way to say something is a waste of money. I don’t mind this I’m poor anyway, but I would like to elevate my standard of living and I would like to travel for leisure one day.
My impression is Singaporeans have no conflict with Malaysians because we’re essentially the same culture but I also know this girl and her family enough to say that they are nothing like ordinary Malaysians. They speak only English at home, no religion, and they believe strongly in independence of women. Her father has spoken to me about marriage and he wants me to know that for banquet and wedding expenses, I don’t have to worry because what can be halved will be halved and for banquet he will pay for his own guests and only his own guests.
My family on the other hand is conservative and my mom is very “Chinese.” Still places importance in Chinese culture and wants grandchildren very much. My girlfriend’s family has pretty much abandoned their Chinese culture (they don’t celebrate CNY for example). She also has no plans to have children early or at all.
The children issue is perhaps the main source of friction but I am lukewarm about having kids as well so I think I’d be able to ignore my mom. Other than that, my trepidation is in the disparity of socioeconomic class, which I am not socialized well enough to understand the issues that it could bring.
Trying to get some last thoughts. Greatly appreciated.