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Friday, March 31, 2023


My husband (33M) told me he’s no longer attracted to me (27F), I’m currently pregnant with twins.


I don’t know what to do or if theres even anything I can do. This is basically my last resort before considering divorce. We have been together 7 years, and married for 3. This is my first (very planned.. very on purpose) pregnancy.

I’ve never been with anyone besides my husband. He was my first kiss and everything else. He on the other hand.. not so much. I have a pretty high libido, and so does he, so going 2-5 times a day if we have time is pretty normal for us.

After I hit around the 12 week mark of my pregnancy, he stopped initiating or responding to my advances. It hurt, but he said he was stressed due to things at work so I stopped making any comments for a few weeks because I didn’t want to add any extra pressure to his life. A few weeks passed and I mentioned that this is the longest we’ve ever gone without intercourse, just trying to see where his mind was at, and he said “Why does it matter? Are you cheating on me?” which took me for a loop. I dont take cheating accusations lightly and feel like if you say that, you should be ready to stand on it.

Its insulting to my character, demeaning, and honestly down right disgusting. I told him those and how it made me felt and he just got quiet. I told him I would never cheat, I’m not pathetic enough to do that. If I wasn’t happy with him I would just leave him. I have every ability to do so. He got emotional and said he was stressed out about money, and some petty debts around ~5k.


So after we finished talking, I was thinking of a way to help him be less stressed so I sent him 7.5k from my savings. I’ve been working full time for over 10 and something years at this point and started investing a few years ago, so my savings account is comfortable. I told him I sent it to him and he asked why, and I said “the debts” and he said “what debts?” and I just stared at him like uhm… the ones you just cried in my lap about?

He says something like oh yeah sorry, I’m just so off today and goes to sit down. The whole thing felt so weird so I went out and asked him details about the debts. After 20 minutes of back and forth, he finally admitted he isn’t stressed about debt and isnt having any money problems, he just isn’t attracted to me anymore.

I asked him what about me has changed since the last time he was attracted to me, because I’m pretty sensitive about my body image my entire life however I have NEVER shared those insecurities with anyone. Not even him. Its something I always kept to myself, but even with my current body I honestly dont think I look that bad.

So far I’ve literally only gained 11-13kg and I’m still working out and working full time. So now I’m almost mad, because I didn’t get pregnant on my own and last time I checked I wasnt the one begging for a kid for the past two years. I’m giving him two and now he’s saying I’m ugly because of my belly?

Pregnancy hormones and what not I started crying a little but wiping them away as fast as I could because I was more mad than sad. He said its not me its the pregnancy, and he’s concerned about the long term effects to my body after seeing videos of post partum bodies and C-section scars. Then told me it wasn’t fair that I was upset because he’s having a “natural male reaction” and I’m manipulating his feelings. He’s never said anything like this before, either. I asked him to explain what a natural male reaction is and he said what makes a guy hard and what makes a guy not hard.


I asked him to go stay with a friend for a night or two so I can have some space and he’s staying at his sisters, who called me and asked what happened because we never really fight. I don’t know what to do, really. I’m exhausted from everything already and this on top of it is just making me feel even worse. I’ve been crying all day and dont have anyone to really talk to this about, so any advice would be very helpful. Thank you.

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