This didn’t happen today, but I suppose it’s still worth telling.
I was dumped after 6 months with a very vague explanation, something along the lines of “I can’t really see you the same way anymore” , tiptoe-ing around the when asked.
Couldn’t understand why until I remembered when I took a huge dump
I was confused and hurt initially, until I started racking my brain for an answer on my way home from her apartment.
And then it hit me.
Two night before this happened, we were getting ready to go to a party. I took a dinosaur of a dump…
I am not someone who usually lets go so much, it was probably because I was constipated for no reason for a few days which was why I let out such a huge dump.
It was impressive, until I needed to flush. Jammed on the 1st flush… and water never filled back up. IT WASN’T EVEN FLUSHING. We come to find out that her landlord shut off the water for repairs without telling her.
So there’s this huge, steaming pile of shit with no water cover in my girlfriends toilet. WHAT THE….. So my plan was to fix it when we got back, since the water will surely be on by then.
Totally forgot about it, didn’t go back to settle the mess I made
Only I forgot all about it, and dropped her off so i can go home. So…..she probably had to deal with a huge toilet bowl full of my dookie trying to get it to flush, probably had to break out the plunger and maybe even a poop knife, all while her apartment probably smelled just like a sewer.
This is why she couldn’t see me the same anymore.