I (24, M) have trouble performing unless she’s restrained
I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I’ve always had a thing for bondage, and an aversion for touch. Like I get really squeamish when people touch me in general, and being intimate makes it even worse.
I’m not uncomfortable with my body or anything I just have a general discomfort with physical contact and I find it difficult to “get it up” sometimes with my girlfriend if she’s reciprocating a lot of contact.
I’d find myself taking control by pinning her down just so I could perform. I feel like I have this pathological need for complete physical control in bed.
I’ve since introduced her to bondage, because, frankly, it’s easier for me when she’s tied up, and I find her more attractive honestly (a bit of a concerning thought) when she’s helpless.
We’ve had discussions about this, she’s been open to me buying toys and things like that, which I’m thankful for.
Still I find myself needing to use my belt or ropes to at least bind her hands, or needing to do things like cover her mouth so she doesn’t moan.
I was successfully able to eat her out, for example, by lashing her wrists to the headboard and gagging her, but trying to do it with her even brushing my hair was impossible for me.
I fantasize at times just about ways to tie her up and I usually get really aroused just tying her up and watching her struggle, without even an explicit component.
On the flip side, sometimes she’ll touch me and I’ll feel jittery and wholly unaroused. It’s a bit of an odd problem to have.