I don’t have a lot of friends or family to share or vent to. What happened took place last year.
I (26m) lost my wife (25f) last year of April. She died in a car accident.
I know this has happened to many people, I know I’m not alone but most days I truly feel alone and feel an empty hole in my heart. Only a hole that she filled.
We went to school together. We got married when I was 22 and she was 21.
This woman- oh my God was she magnificent. Beautiful, caring, funny, intelligent, goofy. She had the best qualities. She was my first girlfriend. She was a hard worker, she always was the type to help others and give the shirt off her own back if needed. I loved that she was so passionate and caring to every human and living creature she’s met. She loved animals, she regularly fed strays, donated and volunteered at shelters when she didn’t have work.
In April of 2021, she got hit by a drunk driver. She died on scene. When she didn’t come home that night, I knew something was wrong. She didn’t answer her phone, her work place told me she had left hours ago. It was unusual that she wasn’t home the time she normally was. I panicked and began calling hospitals, jails, her family, her friends, everything I could think of. I called the police and they told me they’d get back to me. 30 min later, I get a call saying that she was in an accident and did not make it.
I have never felt heart break like this. I have never felt my world crumble around me like this. She was my best friend, my wife, my everything. We had so many memories and experiences together, we had so many plans to travel. Explore. I felt broken. I still feel broken, the pain has gotten easier but it’s still there. I haven’t even thought of dating or looking for someone else.
I miss her, every day. I’ve had dreams where I see her, she kisses me and disappears. I constantly think of our wedding and how gorgeous she looked. I keep thinking about what our kids would’ve looked like and if they would’ve gotten her beautiful hazel eyes or her stunning smile.
We rarely argued, I think I can count a total of 5 times we’ve had an argument in the almost 10 years we’ve been together. We never went to bed angry with eachother. We had so much in common, so many interests that were alike and also differences that we worked on and grew to overcome.
I don’t have anyone to vent to, I don’t go on social media often, and when I do I don’t want to vent because I don’t want people to see how broken I am inside. I’m not here to get pity or anything, I just wanted to get this off my chest and feel a little bit of relief sharing what happened.
I miss her. I miss her so much. The one thing that has been keeping me going is her cat. Since she’s been gone, her cat has grown to be attached to me and is my only companion. I think she senses the pain and loss.
Please hold on to the ones you love. Tell them how much they mean to you and how much you love them. I thought me and her were going to grow old together, and in an instant she was ripped away.