I crapped my pants at work and never came back. My wife still doesn’t know the truth about why I suddenly became unemployed
I can’t believe I’m actually writing this out.
Six years ago I landed my dream job at my dream company and was doing amazingly well for myself. My wife was pregnant with our son at the time and everything really felt like it was falling into place.
Although I was experiencing lots of success at work, there were times where internally I’d struggle really hard. I’ve had pretty bad anxiety my whole life, but I’ve always been good at “masking” if you will.
On the outside it looked like I was this super ambitious, dedicated employee. But on the inside I knew that was the result of trying to overcompensate for my anxiety issues.
I was promoted into a managerial role after just 7 months and my team was awarded as most successful of the quarter.
Here’s where things fall apart. I have a sensitive stomach and I also have issues with pooping in public restrooms. Those things do not mix well with already existing anxiety.
I had a pretty important meeting that I was leading with a few VPs and directors present. I tried my best to get through it but I had a terrible stomach ache and needed to use the bathroom badly.
I was already nervous which made me need to go even more. I started sweating bullets and 25 minutes into the presentation, I lost complete control and crapped my pants. In the middle of the meeting. In front of so many people.
It was immediately obvious what had happened. I simply left the room without saying a word and never came back.
I didn’t initially plan to ditch the job, but the more I thought about it the more embarrassment I felt. How could I honestly face any of my coworkers ever again? My team would never respect me, and I’d forever be known as the guy that crapped his pants during a meeting at work. I just couldn’t handle the shame and embarrassment of it.
I never told my wife the truth about what happened. After a few days of me not going to work she started to ask questions. I told her I’d been fired for a mistake I made, when the truth is that I just left and never showed back up.
We struggled for a good year due to my sudden unemployment, which was especially difficult with a new baby. The guilt eats away at me some days but I don’t think my wife would ever forgive me or look at me the same way if I ever told her the truth about what happened.