I promised my mother that she would move in with me in the future
TLDR: My mother believes that she will be living with me and my wife in the future, but my wife is not too keen on the idea.
Hi everyone,
Some background, I [29M] am a first-generation immigrant and have been here since primary school, served NS. My 51 year old mother (healthy, on Work Permit) is a divorcee, with my younger brother living with my dad in Indonesia. We (or herself sometimes) would return around twice a year to visit her family and my brother. We have a comfortable apartment there. My wife and I are currently staying with her parents, waiting for our BTO, and my mum is living in a rented place nearby.
My mom and I have lived in rental rooms in SG for more than 20 years, under the scrutiny of our landlords. I have told her in the past that when I have a house, there will always be a space for her. I understand what it feels like to never feel like we had a home here. She also believes it’s a given that she will be living with me and my wife.
I want my mother to feel at home here, so my stance has always been that there’s no way my mother would not move in with us. I can tell that my wife, though not actively objecting, is not very keen on it. While she gets along fine with my mother (though not super close), she believes that it still is essential for us to have space and privacy.
I know that many Singaporeans couples move out by themselves, with their parents staying in their own HDBs, but that is not the case for my mother. If she doesn’t move in with us, she will either go back to our home country, and we’ll visit each other from time to time, or with my income, my wife suggests that we can also rent, or eventually purchase a comfortable place nearby for her in the future.
I love both of them a lot and would love to hear your opinions about this situation. Thank you in advance for your input.