It’s so hard, I can’t see the point anymore. I quitted the fifth job, only 2 weeks in.
I don’t know why, I just felt so overwhelmed and all of the sudden I stopped being productive, can’t do anything at all, everything in my mind is literally the thoughts normal people shouldn’t have
I have seen a psychiatrist before but it ain’t working (mainly because it’s hard for me to open up when my parent are with me, the docs made it compulsory that one if then have to come with me), prescribed meds ain’t working and I don’t want to ended up overdosing so I stopped going for checkups. Don’t want to end up having a company found out I have mental issues in my medical history too…
I got my degree cert on march 2021, literally doing nothing but get a job, got overwhelmed, can’t sleep well and having s thoughts, then quitted job
I’m already pass my mid twenties, everyone else, even my younger relatives are buying houses, doing well in life. Here I am feeling like a waste of space
It’s my second month back to jobless, pretending to have a job. I go to the place where I think no one else would recognize me, and spend the day browsing jobs.
I’m so sick and tired of myself, I spend my parents of money getting a degree, got into debt, over two years I haven’t paid a cent
My parents don’t talk about it Infront of me but I observe more than I talk so I know from their responses, during gatherings, when their successful brothers and sisters talking about how well their children’s are doing, that they wish their kid can be like them
I don’t even understand the meaning of my existence other than leeching off my parents, can’t function like a normal human being, like a defective human being.
The only valuable things I have is my body, wouldnt take me a second thought to agree if I can just undo my existence and refund the money spent by my parents on me, I’m literally their biggest investment failure.
Just tryna find a place to vent, thanks