A Singaporean man in his late 30s has found himself at a crossroads in his marriage, after leaving his full-time job to live off property income — a decision that’s now causing significant friction with his wife.
According to his online confession, the man had been earning a decent salary of around S$80,000 annually before the pandemic. During COVID-19, his estranged father passed away and left him two commercial properties. These properties now yield him a net rental income of around S$250,000 per year after taxes and expenses.
Feeling burned out from the demands of corporate life, the man decided to leave his job and embrace a more laid-back lifestyle. He now spends his time exercising, playing tennis, keeping fit, managing the household, and even taking on a weekly training gig that brings in an extra S$1,500 per month. By his own account, he also handles all the household chores, pays for all shared expenses including the cash portion of the mortgage, and takes care of their executive condominium (EC), which is more than halfway paid off.
Wife Grew Up With Nothing, Now Obsessed With Financial Security
While this new arrangement started off well — his wife appreciated the clean home, the free chauffeur service, and the regular date nights — tensions have now started to simmer.
The man explained that his wife comes from a difficult background, having started work as early as secondary school due to an absent mother. As a result, she has always been fiercely independent and cautious about money. Early in their relationship, she insisted on keeping their finances separate, with each contributing to a common pool for joint expenses.
However, her mood began to change after a few years of seeing her husband live what she describes as an “enjoyable” life while she continued working full-time. She has since expressed deep dissatisfaction, often becoming passive-aggressive. Her main complaint: why does he get to relax while she earns her keep?
She now wants him to provide her with S$8,000 per month — on top of all current shared expenses — if she’s to consider leaving her job. She also wants to sell all their properties, including the EC, and upgrade to a landed home — a long-time dream of hers.
Man Feels Pressured to Go Back to Work for Something He Doesn’t Want
The man, however, isn’t keen. With no plans for children, he feels a landed property would be excessive and a downgrade in lifestyle, as it would likely require him to rejoin the workforce and give up the freedom he’s found in recent years. More importantly, he points out that it was his wife who insisted on financial independence — and that he’s already shouldering most of the responsibilities at home.
“I told her she can leave her job and chill too, but she said what about her pay?” he wrote. “She expects me to give her 8k on top of the current expenses I am handling right now.”
Clashing Values: Security vs. Freedom
This conflict is clearly not just about money. It’s about deeply rooted values — her need for financial control and security versus his desire for a more peaceful, fulfilling life.
Experts often note that financial mismatches are a common source of marital stress, especially when one party suddenly shifts roles. In this case, it’s exacerbated by childhood experiences: she grew up with financial trauma, while he inherited unexpected wealth from a distant father.
Their different definitions of fairness — and success — are colliding.
Can the Relationship Be Saved?
It’s clear that both parties are deeply entrenched in their positions. She wants more financial assurance and upward mobility. He wants contentment, simplicity, and mental peace.
To save the relationship, experts might recommend couples counselling — not to mediate finances, but to bridge their emotional and value disconnects. Without addressing the underlying tension, passive-aggressiveness and resentment could permanently erode the marriage.
After all, money isn’t the only thing that can divide couples — but it’s often the most visible symptom of deeper misalignments.