I (24F) am getting married to my partner next year. I was chatting with my mom and sisters about the guest list when my mom brought up sending an invitation to my aunt, we’ll call her L (55F). I said L wasn’t invited and they asked why.
My dad died unexpectedly <2 weeks after I turned 15. It was particularly hard for me since I had been fighting with him for about 7 months prior to his death and we were still in the beginning stages of patching up our relationship after the turmoil. Needless to say, it was one of the hardest times of my life and I was pretty emotionally raw. After his funeral ended I was heading outside when I saw L in a sea of mourners cramped in the hallway. I wasn’t feeling chatty (for obvious reasons) so I gave her the same half-hearted smile and wave I gave everyone else that day and continued walking out the door. As I was walking to the car, my Aunt T walked up to me in a huff and angrily told me to go apologize to L for what I said. I gave her a confused look and asked what she was talking about. Apparently, L told her I gave her a dirty look in the hallway and said “nobody wants you here” when I walked by. I told T that never happened and I hadn’t said a word to L all day. She immediately relaxed and said “oh well that’s just L, she likes to joke. Never mind” and walked away. I was annoyed I got berated for something I didn’t do, but quickly let it go because I had bigger problems to deal with.
On the way home from the funeral, my mom needed to stop at my grandmas house to drop some stuff off and I decided to wait in the car.
As I was waiting, I got a call from my Aunt K. I answered it and she immediately starts yelling and telling me I need to apologize to L for what I said. I told her the same thing I had told T and explained I hadn’t said anything to L or given her any dirty looks. She calmed down and said “oh” and hung up the phone. My mom got back to the car and could see I was visibly frustrated and asked what was wrong. I explained what happened with T and K and she says “oh she always jokes at the wrong time“. I didn’t get an apology from T or K for yelling at me for something I didn’t do and I’m pretty sure my mom and aunts have had conversations about L’s behavior before because all of them used the exact same phrase and each of them just brushed off what she did.
After that, I decided I wasn’t interested in being around someone who starts drama just for fun and everyone else just excuses their behavior. I’ve been civil with L at family gatherings for the last 9 years, but I haven’t gone out of my way to interact with her or build a relationship.
My partner supports my decision to not have L at the wedding, but my mom and sisters are telling me I’m being an AH because I’m not inviting her over something that happened almost a decade ago. I’m starting to wonder if they’re right and if I should just let it go.
Am I wrong?