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Thursday, October 6, 2022
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MAN SAID HOW HE ‘LAO SAI’ ON HIS PANTS ON A 14-HOUR FLIGHT

So I was on a 14-hour flight when I had terrible gas.

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The flight was at 10 PM so everyone pretty much went to sleep after dinner was served. Now I had the window seat and I let go a few times before I fell asleep.

When I woke after maybe an hour of sleep I felt the back of my pants wet as well as my left thigh. So I started feeling my pants from the outside and they felt dry. So I put my hand inside my pants and then my underwear and OMGsh my behind was wet. I defecated on my pants!

Now my palm and finger had brown stains on it and I didn’t know what to do.

I was sure if I pulled out my hand it will be shitty and my neighbours would smell it. So I kept my hand inside my pants. I sat on my hand until both my seatmates fell asleep. It took probably an hour cause the guy on the aisle seat was watching a movie.

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I wrapped myself with the blanket they give you on board, just below the belt to prevent the stench from diffusing. As soon as the aisle guy slept I quietly took one of my socks off and put my dirty hand in it.

Then I placed my hand in my pocket. I got up out of my seat. I sorta hurdled by the other 2 passengers so I won’t have to wake them up. When I got to the bathroom, thank God there was no line, I took a dump.

I had diarrhoea. I had to get rid of my now soiled white underwear and perhaps cause I was tired and not thinking clearly I dumped the dirty brief into the toilet.

Luckily I didn’t flush. I had to grab the briefs back out of the toilet bowl and wrapped them with paper towel and dumped it in the trash. Now there was someone knocking cause I was in the restroom for a long time.

It’s cause my jeans had stains on the thigh area also and I had to rub the hell out with wet tissue and liquid soap. When I thought I was finally all clean and smelled ok I stepped out and apologized to the next person. When I hurdled back to my seat I wrapped myself with the blanket again. I was getting comfortable and ready to sleep when I had a tap on my shoulder.

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The guy from the restroom told me he thinks I left my sock in the restroom by the hand soap. I told him it wasn’t mine and went to sleep with 1 sock on.

Reminder to myself, prepare lao sai pills before taking a flight.

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