Backstabbed throughout my career
I want to ask if it’s common for working adults to keep meeting backstabbers aka xiao ren repeatedly at different jobs?
I’m a mid 30s FTWM in a sales role who does not have the aspiration to become a manager, I prefer to be an individual contributor. My goal is to meet my sales target and find job satisfaction in having clients value my service and having a bonded relationship with colleagues. I try to maintain low profile and do my due diligence and do my best.
After work I don’t really enjoy socialising and prefer to focus on my kids. However, throughout my career I always meet people who just want to backstab me even when I’m have not done anything to them and I’m not even consider in their league.
Not sure why they view me as a competitor and see the need to backstab me?? This happened again to me today and I’m feeling terrible. Again I’m embroiled into some drama which might cause a negative perception from my management even when I didn’t want to fight with anyone for anything! I have been told that I’m too trusting, tell people too many things.
I tend to 掏心掏肺 when I feel someone seems sincere and very keen to make friends with me and thus they got the opportunity to use my words against me. Why can’t people just be kind and don’t do harm to others?
Anyway I just want to know if it’s common to keep meeting 小人 aka backstabbers or is it my 命 aka life?
Here are what netizens think:
- They are your colleagues and competitor. Never your friend sadly. No point building personal relationship. Sometimes if could be something that is not offensive to you, but people are offended. (Speaking from experience). Sometimes misinterpretation and miscommunication. Ultimately, can only talk less, no negative. And to err is human. All have sin, all are fallable. So that’s life.
- In office being friendly doesn’t mean you need to 掏心掏肺 to talk/share everything under the sun. Remember they are just colleagues not BFF. Be a smart working adult, never talk behind any colleague back, don’t kaypoh about colleague problem and never bring any family matter to office. There are always general things to talk like which hawker/food court has better Nasi lemak or NTUC/Giant/Sheng Siong got better offer. Colleague can’t backstab you with this kind of general topic.
- The world is a cruel one esp in SG. Your colleagues are not your friends unless you alr know them since sch or smth… don’t need to open your closet and share your secrets to them
- Working world is a politic scene. Dirt that covered with management jargons.