I wish I grow up dumb.
Since my childhood days, I was taught to only be logical in every situation, thus I was brought up to be mentally mature at a very young age. Which means I never got to experience what normal childhood feels like. You know like crying over pointless things, watching cartoons, go to the playground, etc.
When I was like at least 9 years old, I actually told a kid to stop being childish. Yup, a kid telling another kid to stop being a kid. Cause I was told to only think about logical things. No feelings. Nothing. I know it’s unreasonable to think it that way but I was frustrated on childish behavior by kids. I was told by adults that I’m “too mature for my age” and they told me that I have to wait years until I find “my kind of people”.
I’ve endured years of suffering being surrounded by what I perceive to be very immature people. I was told that when I’m an adult I’ll find people who have the same mind as me.
But I was wrong.
I’m turning 30 and from my observation some people just take don’t grow up. I’ve dealt with people older than me but behaving worse than a child. Some people just don’t seem to think about solving problems, but rather, they enjoy being a problem or creating one. But no one wants to admit it.
In the end of the day, I’m exhausted being mentally mature. I’ve constantly think about solving problems with logical methods but I’m surrounded by people who only follows their feelings.
And you know what, those people seems to be happy like that… And honestly I’m jealous.
I wish I had a dumb childhood.
I wish I grew up dumb.
I wish my parents didn’t teach me to be too logical.
All I want now is to be happy but I do not know how.
As logical as I can be, this is one problem I can’t seem to solve.