Advice needed!!
I have known this girl since secondary 1 and had gotten closer to her after secondary 4 when a three person friend group was formed (2 guys 1 girl). It has been 6 years since the friend group was formed and we are very close to one another where we will often meet at least once a week.
However, recently, I started having romantic feelings towards her and this is where it gets troublesome. I am not sure whether I should pursue her/let her know how I feels or I should just keep my feelings to myself.
I feels that she will never and has never looked at me romantically because we have been friends for such a long time. Also, she always tends to look at good looking guys and have like a kinda high expectation on the guys she will like to date but I am definitely not that ideal guy. I really feel that I do not have the chance but do still want to let her know how I feel about her or at least have her give me a chance to pursue her.
BUT! What if after I shared my feelings to her… will we still able to be very close friends like before? Will the friend group break? I cant afford to have this friend group to disperse as they are very important individuals in my life.
What should I do?
Here are what netizens think:
- I reckon you are like what? 22? so young. Let uncle teach you a life lesson you will nv learn in school. You want something, u need to sacrifice something. You want good grades, you need to burn midnight oil. You want to be rich, you need to work 18hrs a day for at least 10yrs. So if you want this girl, you need to risk the friendship and the group dispensing. If you want something bad enough, nothing can stop you. But if you are worrying about everything, all I can say is you don’t want it bad enough
- You ask her out for a meal, movie or both. Just you two. If she says no, you know liao. If she says yes but during the hang-out, it is kinda awkward or the convo doesnt flow, you know liao. If everything is good and she wants to hang out again, you know liao. If everything is good but she doesnt wanna hang our again, you know liao.
- If you already know, then it is problably true. And if you ‘know’ she already has high expectations, esp in e looks dept, den u can forget abt her ‘lowering’ her expectations for u. I mean, u urself wudnt lower ur expectations and find a ‘lesser’ girl than e one u found (her) too right? There are always subtle hints a girl gives if she’s interested in letting you court her. Ie: If u drunk text her n she responds positively, you guys go in a grp and she always sits with you, meet up tgt everytime, share food n drinks, go everywhere tgt – like if u guys go to a supermarket, bathroom, shopping, if the other guys turns left and u turn right, and she always follows you, usually chats with you, shares her problems, engages in small talks. Skinship at the start is impt too, is she willing to let u say, ruffle her hair, rub e back of her head, light jabs at each other, when u both sit or stand beside each other, n ur upper arms/shoulder touches each other and she doesnt back off, den u have chan liao.
- Women are mostly sensitive to all these, and they know what they are doing. They can also sense if a guy likes them, and if until now she doesn’t give u any of those hints, den u sua la. Find another tree.
- Sometimes, fren better than no more fren. Not every girl, after you confess, still remain frens wif u. Some do, some don’t. Take e risk, or don’t. “)