I had been dating my girlfriend for three months when we decided to take the next step and have S.
I was nervous, excited, and incredibly aroused all at the same time. We had discussed protection and safety, so I felt prepared and ready to go.
We got into the bedroom, undressed, and I began to enter her. I was in the moment, and then she said something that made me freeze: “Is it in yet?”
I felt embarrassed and ashamed. I knew that it was a common thing to say, and I knew she didn’t mean anything by it, but it still caused an intense emotional reaction in me.
My heart started to race and I felt like I was going to throw up. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could, but I was also scared of what she would think if I got up and ran away.
I tried to stay still and composed, but I couldn’t help but to feel embarrassed and ashamed. I was afraid to make any sudden moves or even to speak. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly and quietly as possible.
Unfortunately, the embarrassment and shame I was feeling was too much to bear and I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to pee. I tried to hold it in, but it was too late. I had already soiled myself.
I quickly got up and ran out of the room, my heart racing and my face bright red. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I wanted to cry. I had never been so humiliated in my life.
My girlfriend was shocked and horrified by what had happened, but she was also incredibly understanding and supportive. She hugged me and told me it was okay, that accidents happen. She let me take a shower and gave me a clean pair of pants.
We talked about what had happened afterwards, and I told her how embarrassed and ashamed I was. We agreed to talk more about it the next day, and I left her apartment feeling relieved but still humiliated.
The next day, we talked about it again and I told her how I had been feeling. She listened patiently and told me that it was okay and that it didn’t have to be a big deal. We agreed to just talk about it and move past it.
I’m still embarrassed and ashamed about what happened that day, but I’m grateful for my girlfriend’s understanding and patience.