I spend $2,000 on a tailored suit and my wife is calling me selfish and pretentious

I work in an office and make just a shade under six figures. Pretty good salary, but nothing spectacular. it’s enough for a very comfortable living.

I’m 45, married (she’s 47), and we have two kids, a fourteen year old girl and ten year old boy. My wife is a stay at home mom. We’ve been married seventeen years.

I’ve always wanted to have a nice suit. We’re required to wear suits at work, but for my entire career (I’ve always been at the same company) I’ve always had dumpy suits, the “3 for $200” kind of thing.

I’m not entry level but not management, either.

Let me make it clear that I never deny my wife or children anything and have always prioritized their needs and wants. An agreed upon portion of my salary goes to our savings and retirement, some goes to the kids’ school funds, all our bills are paid, we don’t have any debt.

And my wife certainly has a generous allowance every month to get her hair done, nails done, buy clothes, go to yoga, go to brunch with the ladies and so on. Several hundred dollars a month.

My own, personal expenses are very low. My wife herself cuts my hair, I don’t really buy clothes except for socks and underwear, and my wife is most often the one who buys that stuff for me.

Despite me making a good salary, I can’t really justify getting a gym membership for myself, and I don’t want to glom onto my wife’s yoga because that’s her thing and I want her to have her space.

We have our date nights a few times a month so that’s a shared treat.

Anyway, the point is I’ve always been into fitness and have always been a runner and kept in good shape, especially for my age. But my suits make me look like a doofus.

I’ve always wanted a tailored suit and never owned one in my entire life.

I decided right when pandemic hit that I’d start saving money from my lunch allowance since I didn’t go to the office anymore and set it aside to buy a suit from a manufacturer whose ad I saw in one of my wife’s fashion magazines.

I told her I wanted a suit like that, but my wife just laughed it off. As a side note, just one of her several designer purses costs as much as the suit I eventually got.

Well, fast forward almost two years and I had a nice pretty chunk of change for myself. Even though I returned to the office long ago I got used to just making my own lunch and saving money.

I looked at our expenses at home and didn’t see anything that needed to be bought or repaired. Kids’ college fund is up to date and all debts are paid, wife still gets her hair done and goes mall shopping and gets her salon fix and all that, as always.

For the first time ever, I got myself measured for that suit I wanted. I bought it.

My wife doesn’t really get up before I go to work so the day I first wore it she didn’t see me leave in it.

But she saw me when I got home and she was really shocked and asked me if I went to a wedding without her or something.

I was really proud of myself and told her how I saved basically $20-30 a week for a year and a half and how I got myself that fancy suit from the ad.

She told me I looked really good and I thought she was proud of me for saving money like that. My kids told me I looked like a model. I know they were just building me up but it still felt good.

And at the office people were giving me compliments all day about how amazing I looked in my tailored suit.

Lots of men at work wear tailored suits by the way, and from what I’ve read, tailored suits often cost way more than what I paid. It’s just that no one is used to seeing me look so good at work.

Friday is usually jeans day at work but just to be a little funny I wear my tailored suit every Friday and it’s become this silly office thing where everyone knows that’s my “formal” day.

I have no plans to buy more tailored suits but I feel so happy and good when I wear it because I saved for it and it’s mine and I know I look good in it.

Yesterday (Friday) when I came home my wife took me aside and told me I was very selfish to spend all that money on myself and that wearing tailored clothes was pretentious, like I’m punching above my weight.

I felt horrible she said that and asked her if there was something she wanted that cost $2,000 dollars that she would have rather I spent the money on.

She just said it was sneaky for me to buy something so expensive without telling her.

I dunno. She spends money at will from what I earn and I don’t ask her about it. If she wants something she buys it. If she wants to spend $50 on lunch with her friends, whatever.

The only thing I guess where she has a point is if she wants to buy something especially pricey, like if she wants a new wallet or shoes that cost more than a few hundred dollars she’ll ask me if it’s okay and I’ll always say yes, use your best judgement, bills are paid and it’s fine.

Maybe I should have told her before I bought it.

I realize now that I didn’t tell her because deep down I knew she’d shit all over my plans.

No.

I’m not trying to look good for any other woman, and yes, wife and I still bang regularly and well.

I just feel like crap.

Still not going to stop wearing my Friday suit though.