Fiancé (29M) is not interested in being intimate with me (24F) after I give birth to our child
He says that he just can’t see me the same. Apparently now that I became a mother his view of me completely changed.
Is this some psychology thing or what? Anyways, in all honesty, it’s been taking a serious toll on my mental health and I can’t even talk about it or share it with my friends or family (mother, sisters, cousins) because it’s genuinely humiliating.
I also know it’s something they didn’t experience, and they’d probably tell me to “just leave him” which isn’t what I want, I love him.
our wedding is scheduled to happen this year and settled for and our child is six months old—yeah we went through six months without intercourse, as if having a child for the first time isn’t exhausting as it is.
I also had to carry the weight of my relationship being in crisis and feeling absolutely terrible and undesirable, our life in the bedroom prior to me giving birth was the healthiest, it took a 180 degree turn in change afterwards, even during my pregnancy it wasn’t bad.
I know this isn’t something usual, men don’t just lose interest in their partners after they give birth, obviously it’s some psychological thing for my fiancé here.
And I know what you might be thinking, that perhaps it’s on me and I haven’t took care of myself after pregnancy and neglected my appearance, but that’s not the case at all.
I got back to the weight I was at before giving birth very fast, I take care of myself and my how I look daily; hair done, nails done, dress nice.
To add; everything else between us is the same, we have smooth conversations, he gives me compliments, kisses me, treats me well, just refuses to being intimate with me.
It’s like he’s holding me on a pedestal and can’t acknowledge that I have needs anymore just because I became a mother.
I’m looking for a way to solve the problem, it’s causing a dilemma in our relationship and I can’t imagine spending a life time being repressed in bed.
Counseling is a must, we’ve already talked about it and are going to go through it, I just can’t help but believe I need to do something else prior to that. And I’m honestly thinking that an open relationship where we’d both see other people for a while might drastically help us, it would for sure shatter the false illusion he has of me in his head.
Any advice would be appreciated, and I’d also really like to know if there’s anyone out here who experienced something similar?