My Fiancé said I stunk when we were doing it. Now I don’t want to sleep with him anymore.
So for context, my fiancé, 24 male, and I, 23 female, have been together almost 5 years. This whole issue started this past Friday.
For a little background, we are not the typical 20 some year old couple. We’re usually in bed by 9, even on weekends. We don’t go out much if ever, and both work over 40 hours a week easy.
The one that gets people the most? We rarely f. I’m talking like 3 times a month. 5 on good months. Maybe that’s normal to some, but at 24 and 23 I feel like that’s rare. I’m the one that has to ask for intimacy in the relationship.
Every other night I try to talk him into it. It’s always the same. “I’m too tired”, “it’s late”, “tomorrow we can”, or my favorite, “if you asked earlier I would’ve” HOWEVER, when he is in the mood and I don’t comply? I might as well be throwing a baby as a football. He acts like it’s the end of the world.
So on Friday I slept in a little later since I didn’t have to go into work till later that morning. I no sooner opened my eyes, and my fiancé was over top of me.
He says, “honey I have to leave for work, but I got some time if you wanna, ya know”. Considering I just woke up and had 0 energy, I mummed something like “yeah okay”.
In the middle of it all, I go to roll over, and I notice he’s covering my backside with my shirt I still had on. I asked “why are you covering me up?”
He no shit goes “I think you stink” and continues going.
I stopped. Got up. And was like, “excuse me??”.
He goes “what’s wrong?”
I said “you think I have poop or something?”
“Well it has to be you. Go wash it so I can finish”.
I could not for the life of me comprehend what the f I just heard. So I walked to our bathroom and he follows. He goes, “you need to wipe so you can see”
I said you want me to check myself?” He said “yeah, and I want to see”.
This man, I kid you not, stood over me and watched me wipe myself, not one, BUT TWO TIMES. Obviously I was clean as a whistle down there.
So he goes “okay let’s finish!” I said “absolutely not. I’m done.”
He got annoyed and was so confused why I wouldn’t let him. I felt so embarrassed, insecure, confused. You name it. He must’ve realized he f-ed up when I looked at him with confusion, and all around annoyance.
He tried to say it came across meaner then he meant it to. I just said I was going back to bed. He left. He sent me an apology text stating he was sorry he was rude but wanted me to just wash it.
I said okay. He asked if I was mad. I said “no not mad. I just won’t be intimate with you for a good while. This morning really bothered me.”
He had the nerve to ask why. I went off. I said “Not only was it super embarrassing, but also very rude how you went about it. And that made me feel totally insecure. And you ended up getting frustrated with me because I wouldn’t let you finish? Not to mention I had just opened my eyes when you wanted some.”
He said “I know it wasn’t your fault. That’s why I said it” I sent him two long texts basically saying who does that shit. He’s confused on how he could have handled it better and think he handled it the only way he could.
Since then, I’ve barely said a word. Instead of crying or yelling, I’ve remained silent. I came home from work to a clean house, laundry done, and animals fed.
He’s tried texting more then usual. I’m still answering. Just very short. I don’t know how to act. I know he probably feels terrible. But I don’t know how I’ll ever be intimate with him now after that happened.
I know I’m probably overreacting, but I feel so off now. He’s tried to kiss me, have me look him in the eye, and when I do, I just feel hollow. I don’t know what to do. I love him with my whole heart. I just don’t think what happened was okay.