I think I ruined my parents marriage and feel guilty.
I’m 30+ this year and was a bully back in primary school. No excuses. I was an ahole, etc,etc… Back then, I made the unlucky mistake of picking on a rich boy, whom we shall refer to as Q. I didnt know Q is rich, which primary school kid knows the concept of rich/poor? Q accidentally fell and broke his arm.
The school called both sides’ parents down for counseling. Q’s dad is some high flyer in the private sector and did not have any intention of mediation. He came to inform my parents that he intends to file a civil lawsuit, claiming medical expenses and damages to the family, he also showed us copies of medical reports. My parents pleaded on the basis that
1. They were willing to pay for the medical bills (private hospital somemore)
2. If the verdict is in Q dad’s favour, my parents wont have money to pay him anyway, they would be bankrupted and Q dad wont get the money either way.
3. My mum was an office admin and my dad was a taxi driver, they don’t earn much.
Q’s dad looked straight at me and said “I’m not after the money, I have money. I’m trying to teach you a lesson.” It has been 20 years but I will never forget his look. He was out for my family’s blood. My dad caned and screamed at me that night.
The lawsuit ruled in Q dad’s favour. We had to pay for our own lawyers fees, his lawyers fees, the medical bills and Q’s dads loss of income (he had to take off work few days to counsel Q). Thank god it didnt bankrupt us but it devastated my parents’ finances.
They controlled me extremely tightly after in sec school, which contributed to the strained relationship between my parents and me. Their relationship also began to change. My mum began calling my dad “useless” or not being able to earn money or “have connections” or being “only a taxi driver”. Parents divorced almost 10 years ago.
This guilt is eating me. Had I not been bad, maybe money will be ok. Maybe my parents will still have their marriage. I am not the same person I was 20 years ago, but my family is still feeling the effects of that “punishment”. Isnt the punishment disproportionate? my family is broken up over what some stupid primary school students did? How is this fair? just because the other side has money? Q is prolly over it and leading a good life.
I cant help but think the rich really know how to turn every situation into their advantage and bully us normal people.